I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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