i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
