So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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