It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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