I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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