that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
