I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
