It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
