So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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