Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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