New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
