i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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