He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
