Sponge bath it is.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
