what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize