just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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