You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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