I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
false alarm. still invincible.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
