Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
