It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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