just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
