They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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