Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
