i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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