Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
