Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
