mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
