Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
