I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
