im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
