You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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