I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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