they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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