I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize