I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
