Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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