oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
