I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
