You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
