If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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