Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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