It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
