The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had me at cake vodka
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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