It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
