She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
