So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
dude i'm inner monologue high
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize