So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
