I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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