This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize