You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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