tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
