Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
A+ Viking dick
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
