Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
