haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
