She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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