am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...