i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
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As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
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We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
This is classic penis vs brain.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?