$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex