There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment