fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.