i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
