And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize