i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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