Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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