You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Pants are for mortals
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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