this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
